Tonight, something resembling a descent into madness… things started innocently enough, new tones from Ann Arbor-based “post-afrobeat dance explosion” Nomo; something new from Stereolab certain to pour fuel on the eternal debate over just when it was exactly that they were putting out good records (for those playing at home, the answer is ‘eternity’); and something completely soulless yet enchanting, hollowed-out but intriguing, absolutely completely empty and yet so edible, ie what we’ve come to expect from the man who is no longer there (never was), Beck.
Maybe Beck’s psychopathic emptiness should have clued us in to the depraved insanity that was to come. Even with the voice of Evan Mast from Ratatat sounding throughout the 3RRR studio - all politeness and graciousness as he discussed the recording of LP3 having just come off stage from a rowdy London gig - Dave and I knew there was another presence in the room. A familiar presence: a devilish ghost flitting between the walls, waiting to corrupt our mind-tanks and warp the space-time around us. Indeed, it was the ghost of Metatron, travelled all the way from the planet Ogg Vorbis, to settle an old score.
The soothing chamber-folk of Melbourne’s Luluc (associates of local heroes like Wagons and Laura Jean) couldn’t protect us; I tried pulling out a one-hit wonder from 1982, a Belgian synth pop hit about poker, but it was no use. Not since the Spindle Wars of 2274 had we seen Metatron manifest as Jean Michel Jarre, but here he was again, his wacky glances to camera and evil Gallic charm holding us at his whim. Suddenly, all around us - hideous, depraved calypso from 1990, all synthetic steel drums and eerily lame vocoders. Clinging to sanity, I tried to appeal to Metatron’s innate humanity with the heavy-handed moral teachings from the Book of Zager and Evans, Chapter 1969, “In the Year 2525″… “in 10,000 years, men have cried a billion tears,” Dave cried out to Jean Michel-Metatron. It was no use. We blacked out.
When we came to, we realised we had again been taken to Planet 10, the planet of Ogg Vorbis. Somewhere in the distance, a faint sound across the winds of the Plains of Fraunhofer, I thought I could hear the doomy synthy drones Oblio, their decaying synth tones echoing our impending destruction. Then appeared the evil demiurge Roger Taylor, enchanting us with his love theme from the soundtrack to 1980 film Flash Gordon entitled, of course, “In the Death Cell.” As we sat in the death cell, staring mortality in the balls, Dave called on the druidic teachings of Blackshaw, curling 12 guitar strings to form a sanctuary circle around us. Against the cell bars I beat rolled-up gig flyers in the interval of four, carving out the polyrhythms of Tussle like a mantra of groove. Slowly, a soothing bright light warmed around us….
And there he was, moustachioed - Mo, not No-mo - and resplendent in the grand civic garb of a Sofia town crier. Indeed, he had heard our call. Bogdan Irkuk, grand vocoder wizard of Bulgaria. To save us, he’d travelled to the mystical lands of Finland - a land which only children dream of, and which was lost to most of us years ago, very much like that place in that movie The Neverending Story, you know where the dude has to save the princess but leaves his horse to die in the swamp - Bulgari had rallied the robed disco-folk of Paavoharju, ending their centuries of in-fighting by offering them a cheeseburger. Together, they banished Jean Michel-Metatron and Roger Taylor, liberating the people of Ogg Vorbis. Phil Lynott was then cryogenically revived, and he ruled the lands of Ogg Vobris for two and fifty years until tragically choking on a Dorito.
Nomo - Brainwave (Ghost Rock, Ubiquity 2008)
Pivot - Sweet Memory (O Soundtrack My Heart, Warp 2008)
Stereolab - Pop Molecule (Molecular Pop 1) (Chemical Chords, 4AD 2008)
Beck - Youthless (Modern Adult, 2008)
Interview with Evan Mast of Ratatat
The Hasbeens - Ain’t the Same as Before (Keep Fooling Yourself 12″, Clone 2008)
Grupo Fantasma - Cumbia de los Pajaritos (Sonidos Gold, Aire Sol 2008)
Eden Express - Ocean Samba (Tristeza) (Que Amors Que, Holy Mountain 2008)
Luluc - My Midnight Special (Dear Hamlyn, Shock 2008)
Karman - Poker (1982)
Jean Michel Jarre - Calypso (En Attendant Cousteau, Disques Dreyfus 1990)
Zager and Evans - In the Year 2525 (1969)
Oblio - A Radical Change in Orientation (The Crux of the Matter 12″, Codek 2008)
Queen - In the Death Cell (Love Theme) (Flash Gordon OST, 1980)
James Blackshaw - Infinite Circle (Litany of Echoes, Tompkins Square 2008)
MRR-ADM - 011 (untitled 10″, 2008)
Tussle - Night of the Hunter (Cream Cuts, Smalltown Supersound 2008)
Strangelets - Riot on Planet 10 (Nobody Knows Anything, Supersoul 2008)
Bogdan Irkuk - Jewel of the Black Sea (Ultracity remix) (The Coastal EP, 2008)
Grouper - When We Fall (Dragging a Deer Up a Hill, Type 2008)
Map of Africa - Western Love (Map of Africa, 2007)
Paavoharju - Kevatrumpu (Laulu Laakson Kukista, Fonal 2008)
Thin Lizzy - The Sun Goes Down (Thunder and Lightning, Warner 1983)
The Beatles - A Day in the Life (Brassica remix) (2008)
MP3: Part 1 | Part 2
To download mp3s, right-click the above links and select “Save as…”